The year Rosie was born, I bought Christmas presents in a sleep-deprived panic, mostly online, mostly at 2 a.m. On Christmas morning the living room looked like a toy store had exploded. By mid-January half the toys were broken, forgotten, or in the donation bag, and the credit card bill was still sitting on the counter.
The next year we tried a simple rule that a friend from church told me about, and we've used it ever since. Each kid gets four gifts from us:
- Something they want
- Something they need
- Something to wear
- Something to read
Santa brings the stockings. That's the whole thing.
Why it works for us
The rule doesn't set a price, which is part of why I like it. It sets a shape. Once I know I'm shopping for four specific things per kid, I stop wandering around stores filling a cart with "one more little thing." The little things were always the budget-killers.
It also helps the kids. They know what's coming, more or less, and they think hard about their one "want." Ella told me in October which one she was picking, and she's been reminding me roughly every six hours since.
What we spend
We aim for about $100 per kid for the four gifts, plus about $15 for each stocking. The money comes out of our Christmas sinking fund, which we add to all year, so December doesn't touch the regular budget.
Here's what last year actually looked like:
| Ella | Owen | Rosie | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Want | Craft kit and supplies, $38 | Building set, $45 | Baby doll stroller, $29 |
| Need | New winter boots, $32 | Winter coat, $36 | Bedding for her "big girl bed," $30 |
| Wear | Pajamas and fuzzy socks, $18 | Favorite team sweatshirt, $22 | Dress-up dress, $14 |
| Read | Two chapter books, $14 | A book of facts, $12 | Two picture books, $10 |
| Total | $102 | $115 | $83 |
That's $300 for all three plus $45 in stockings. Owen went a little over because the building set he wanted cost more than I'd planned; Rosie came in under because three-year-olds are cheap dates. I don't try to make it exactly equal in dollars. I try to make it feel equal on Christmas morning, and so far it does.
The "need" gift is sneakily great
Winter boots and coats are things I'd have to buy in December anyway. Wrapping them up doesn't make them free, but it means that money does double duty. The kids actually get excited about it, too. Owen wore his new coat around the house all Christmas afternoon.
What about everyone else?
Our extended family is big, and gifts for everyone used to be the other half of the budget problem. A few things that helped:
- A name draw for the adults. My siblings and their spouses draw names at Thanksgiving, with a $30 limit. One nice gift instead of eight rushed ones.
- Cousins get one shared gift per family. Usually a board game. The kids play it together at the family Christmas party, which is really the point.
- Teachers and coaches get something homemade. Last year it was a jar of homemade hot cocoa mix with a note from the kids, about $3 each.
- Grandparents get the kids. Well, a photo calendar of the kids. It's the gift they actually ask for.
Where it gets tricky
I won't pretend it's always smooth. Grandparents don't follow our rule, and I've made peace with that. We just ask them for experiences or clothes when they ask what the kids need. Some years a "want" is bigger than the budget, and in those cases we talk about combining Christmas with birthday money, or waiting for a sale. Once or twice a kid has been a bit disappointed. That's allowed, too.
What I don't miss is January. No mountain of plastic, no panicked credit card statement, no guilt. It's mid-November, the wants have been decided, and I've already bought two of the "read" gifts at the library book sale. This year, for the first time, I think I'll be done before Thanksgiving.
